I was shopping with my Mum when I observed a woman in a store completely lost and overwhelmed ask for support from the shop assistant and receive no help at all for what she needed. She was chairing a huge professional workshop over a week interstate and needed looks for every day of her panel and leadership work. She was alone in the fitting room, and her anxiety and stress was totally visibly. I felt that pain for her.

Through my work experience and luxury ready-to-wear and styling training, I knew how to help her. But I was all of 22. It wasn’t my workplace, and my fear of judgement and embarrassment froze me to my spot. I sadly didn’t allow myself to step in.

I left feeling powerless and deflated. Just as I knew the woman in the changeroom had experienced. It sounded like she had a incredible work opportunity. She needed to show up to do the job, new and unchartered terrain for her and she needed help. Someone standing, asking for support and service, and…nothing. I wish, now and for so many years, that I had stepped in to help, assist, listen. Hear what she needed, get to know her, and find her the looks to allow her to perform her role.

I realised, as time went on, in the circles of women I’ve shared my life with, worked with, and simply chatted with — it’s a familiar story. A call, a request, a whisper for help and support that is not answered. Who is there to answer it? Where is the right place and space to ask for this help? Who is listening, who sees you? Who gets you?

Throughout my professional career dressing women, knowing them and their style, the lifestyle they lead and their needs, I have honed this skill of truly seeing and listening. My style is not everyone’s style, and often that can be a barrier to asking for me help. I want women to know that my skills as a buyer are for others, not myself. I will never again stay quiet when witnessing a woman in a changeroom asking for help. I dedicate my time now to sitting with women, seeing them, and working through those stories and experiences about their image, self-esteem, teaching them they don’t need permission to take up space — and allowing them to shed those stories and discover who they really are and what they want their image to say about them.

A woman I have worked with for over two years came to me towards the end of her marriage, with one daughter, having moved cities, had a career pivot and I helped her anchor herself in her identity. We worked together on discovering what was comfort to her, how clothing allowed her to feel safe and still show up for her roles as a mother, a business owner and an entrepreneur. These days she has developed the tools to answer those reflective questions daily, and now we work together for her seasonal and event looks as her life shifts and opens up.

I have developed the tools to coach women and draw out their innate style, show them how to dress with the pieces they already have, and give them the confidence to fulfil their day in the way they choose. It’s not my narrative. I observe, discover and translate this information back to them in a way they can understand.

The angst and draining decision-making when you don’t have the tools, or even the right questions to ask, is brutal. If you’re not asking the right questions, how can you expect to get the answers you need? The old way looks like stress, anxiety, the last-minute shopping dash with overwhelm and hurried decisions. The new way can feel calm, allows time for exploration planning; the right questions you are asking yourself to get the right answers.

You are familiar with asking for and seeking out support for career growth, strengthening your body, emotional support through psychologists, counselling, mentorship. Living with intention means all these things are important and crucial to growing into yourself. You already get dressed, but dressing with intention allows you to align all these facets in a visible and visual way, and can often fast-track the changes you are wanting to make in career, confidence and authenticity.

I now work with women and show them that these shifts they can make are safe, achievable and have a ripple effect on your life. Every woman I have the honour in engaging with will never again be that woman lost and alone in the changeroom. They have the tools to be self-reflective, own their style, and dress for the life they are living and the life they are striving for.

The question you can ask yourself today is: what is coming up for you in the future that requires you to show up as the truest, boldest, the most authentic version of yourself? Now is the time to reflect, think on it, and plan for it.

Seek out and ask for the support you need, so you’re not left, yet again, madly scrambling. Overwhelmed or anxious about how you’re going to get through. We can explore what it would be like to exist naturally, confidently, and allow you to show up as your whole self, and align the inside with the outside.

Dressing up for the mood you want to be in can be transformational — it can completely alter someone’s day, goals, professional outcomes and even future choices.

I was in my mid-twenties and went through an exceptionally painful break-up. It was a toxic relationship and we just couldn’t seem to find a way to detangle ourselves. We were head over heels for each other and, as fast as we fell in love, we quickly tumbled into a heartbreaking mess. At the time, I had only moved out of home for the first time three months earlier. I was tapped on the shoulder to take on the responsibility of solo buying trips — our senior buyer was on maternity leave — as well as being selected as one of the youngest presidents of a Rotary Club in Australia at the time, an international volunteer organisation, and having to manage a catastrophic criminal arrest and extremely serious accusations against one of our long-running members.

I felt totally out of control, deflated, very lost — running on stress and cortisol in overdrive. How could there be so much chaos at a time when I was succeeding in my dream career, meant to be giving back to my community, and my life was crumbling around me?

I realised that this turning point in my job was too important to let slip. I was second in charge of a heritage 90-year-old business and the opportunity was not lost on me. Heading up the selection of the season’s stock for a small business is a crucial task — it can make or break the clients we worked so hard to retain. I was waking up to text messages from my ex (who hasn’t been there!) and email threads handling criminal accusations in my volunteer organisation. I needed to take control of something, because my life felt like it was spinning out of control. The one thing I could control was how I started the day — how I showed up, and what sort of person I would be at my job and as a leader of a club that was frozen with shock.

It became clear that I could choose how I navigated my day, how I showed up for my clients, my boss and my volunteer organisation. I did this through what I wore and my grooming. I noticed how much better I coped. My confidence shifted — from slumped and exhausted with emotional fatigue to sleek, confident, sharp and fashion-forward — in just an outfit change.

I had some specific go-to pieces that I just loved, pieces that were both comfortable and looked striking. Deliciously comfortable Acne Studios leather jeans. A super slim-fitting tailored blazer with a crisp shirt. A rock-and-roll studded belt I found on ASOS that was almost identical to an Ann Demeulemeester belt I desperately wanted but couldn’t afford at the time. All finished with a block-heeled ankle boot and an Alexander McQueen silk chiffon skull scarf — my very first luxury purchase, on sale for $100, that I still prize twenty years later.

Reiss Blazer | Reiss Leather Jeans | Me + Em Croc Style Boot | Me + Em Mens-Style Shirt | McQueen Iconic Scarf

My look said: sleek woman, on a mission, knows where she’s going — and don’t mess with me. Our workplace was full of mirrors, and every time I glanced at myself throughout the day I had a surge of confidence.

It was easy to wear, to run up and down stairs in, and to work at a desk in as well.

Sure, I could have rolled out of bed and called in sick to wallow in how sorry my situation was — but there were people counting on me. I needed to be present, perform my tasks, stay focused and take the lead. In my knockout, no-nonsense, fashion-forward outfit, I felt empowered and ready to do the job.

That year of heartbreak and dealing with law enforcement — something I had never once contemplated I would be doing — I went on four buying trips to Europe, two of them solo. I finished up my voluntary role. And I met my now-husband in a room of three hundred people where I didn’t know a single soul. I truly believe I would have been in a darker place had I not had my armour on — clothing that made my heart feel invincible, worthy and ready, even when my head didn’t think or know any of those things.

The shift you can make — when the kids are screaming at you for their breakfast, when you’ve missed the promotion you wanted so much, when the break-up with the person you thought was forever has just landed — is to show up as who you want to be today. Know your strongest go-to pieces, even if it’s just a breathtaking pair of shoes that makes you feel like the most fierce version of yourself.

Here are some things you can lean into on the dark days when you feel there’s nowhere left to go. You can change your attitude, your light, your aura by choosing a tool that is clothing as armour:

• Tailoring. I hate that we’ve become such a casual society we are wearing it less and less, but a beautifully cut blazer, a crisp cotton shirt, a pair of tailored pants with a button and fly (no elastic, no denim) can reframe everything and make you feel strong.

• Footwear. A knee-high boot can communicate safety or attitude. A penny loafer is calm, confident, practical to get any job done. Or if suitable, choose a pointed pump to let everyone know you’re arriving!

• A specific colour. Wear red to feel fierce. Select soft pink to lean into your divine femininity. Wear yellow to spark joy and optimism or pale blue to calm the chaos you’re walking into.

JAG Knit | Seed Heritage Pant | H&M Heels | Jaeger Pink Coat | MaxMara Teal Coat | Reiss Top, Matching Pant | Reiss White & Blue Blouse

My process of showing up in the world has stemmed from that experience, and it has been a game-changer — through COVID, becoming a parent, client-facing roles on two hours of sleep. When I dress for the day I want to have, not for how I’m feeling when I get dressed, it changes everything.

If there’s one thing you can do today — go into your wardrobe and find the pieces that are your armour. What do you love putting on for a date, for that important meeting, the fierce client proposal? Reflect on it. Have it ready for the next time you need a pick-me-up. You’ll notice your own distinct shift.

When I work one-on-one in my Blueprint program, it’s wonderful to watch the shift as I help women draw out the pieces of armour that are unique to us all. My clients discover how to edit their wardrobe into a collection of pieces that serves them daily — that shapes and shifts their look so they show up exactly how they want to be. Remove the mess, the overwhelm, the chaos that collects as we journey through life. How you dress is not the goal. Getting on with your day to achieve your goals and your purpose — that’s where the magic lies.

You don’t need to spend tens of thousands of dollars to look groomed, expensive, or well dressed. It’s the eye and creativity that creates style – not the money.

My professional life as a luxury buyer and stylist taught me about luxury fashion – how to complete a look, travelling to Paris Fashion Week, what the best manufacturing and couture in the world looked like. But I didn’t have the funds to match that lifestyle or that spending. Not even close.

On my first day in my dream job after leaving fashion school, I shadowed my boss while our client spent double my annual wage in 45 minutes — the client not even glancing at the price tag. It was a huge eye-opener. It wasn’t the norm. It was fascinating, and it was brutal. I was surrounded by some of the most beautiful fashion and craft in the world, and I felt like I wasn’t in Kansas anymore — shock, wonderment, thrill, and a disenchantment I hadn’t expected.

But I had always been someone who found a workaround. At school, I could never have the expensive jeans my peers wore or the brands their parents bought them. So I chose to be different, so I couldn’t compare — or be compared. Now I was in a new realm with a very familiar dilemma: how could I stand as an equal in this career without bankrupting myself? I would have to get creative.

^{L-R: Younger me before heading to l’Avenue - the most stylish restaurant in Paris (especially during Fashion Week!) - wearing GAP white tee, Zara cotton skirt and Valentino shoes | Younger me in the Jil Sander Milan showroom obsessed with fur mittens | Younger me at Chatsworth house wearing GAP white shirt and Zara double faced coat (both of which I still wear 12 years later!)}

As I learned about high end fabrics, refined and exquisite cuts – what beautiful couture really felt like to wear and to behold – I started to source, locate, and replicate these looks from the high street and a new platform at the time – called online shopping. Try-ons in the showroom were always encouraged before client appointments, so we understood how each piece moved, how the fit read. That knowledge became mine to keep. One of my first purchases was a heavily reduced cosy charcoal doona coat by Rick Owens from a then-unknown online store called Net-A-Porter — now one of the largest luxury retailers in the world. I ripped style edits out of Harper’s Bazaar, British Vogue, and Grazia, then hunted down similar, in-budget outfits that I’d wear until they were threadbare.

Even my boss would comment on the pieces I’d sourced — similar quality, similar feeling to what we sold in store. It gave me permission to keep going. And gradually, I came to feel as polished as the clients I was dressing.

From growing up regularly feeling less-than in the clothes I could afford, I was becoming adept at sourcing and selecting beautiful fashion at the price I could actually pay – in a world that ran entirely on luxury. It took my whole twenties to refine this. As I saved and purchased key lifetime pieces — a Chloé cashmere double face swing coat, a Saint Laurent leather jacket, a timeless pair of Givenchy nude heels — I also learned what was worth the investment versus what could be replaced each season with something fresh and affordable.

I always thought that dressing well was out of reach because of the money it cost. It isn’t. It’s about learning what to invest in, what you can get away with not spending on, which inexpensive pieces are genuinely well made, and how to build a wardrobe where everything works together — so you’re adding value, not just adding stuff.

I discovered I could show up to any event – a brand opening at Paris Fashion Week, dinner with a global executive, lunch with friends, job interviews, blind dates – and feel completely calm and collected. Dressed properly, for the occasion and the dress code. Present. Noticed. An equal, where it mattered. It took planning, research, and well-thought-out purchases. But like any muscle, once built, it becomes second nature.

I want you to know that dressing well can be learned, no matter the budget or the background. You can take the financial pressure off. Spend within your means. Save for the forever pieces. And in a world that is increasingly more expensive, knowing what to buy, for when, and for where will save you money, minimise mistakes, and end the cycle of emotional purchasing.

I’ve been doing this, for myself and for others, for almost twenty years. That confidence, that calm, that quiet knowing when you walk into a room — that’s what I’m here to help you build.

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